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Wednesday, December 31, 2008 at 6:10 PM
Welcome to the yr of 2009 ... =x
Not in the mood of celebration ..
I see no future nor happiness in my coming year ...
I just wish if the clock can be turn back once more ...
I begin to reflect upon myself on what i did and achieve of the yr 2008 , it was suppose to be good number and yr for me. But now , as i looked at myself and think , was the year actually that great ?
Achievement in study : ? I just kept going down and down .. Studies were not met, teacher were disappointed, i could have achieve much better grade or wat so ever ...
Achievement in scouts : NIL .. so what i am a chairman or those very "good" venture .. nothing was done in my way and nothing was achieved the way i plan to ... was i really happy in ventures ?
Achievement in life : I felt that i am degrading in life ... i starting to hate myself alot, every single day i just feel low and useless . My heart starts to harden daily, even when i try to rescue myself, everything just have been in vain ... I start to lose trust, those who were close to me starting fading away, those who love me started hating me ,those who were trueful starting lying. Some just happily walk out of my life ... haha, now i feel that everything i believe in is so ironic... But, there nothing i can do anymore ... i am already at my wits, i guess that life right ?
2009 ? i dun wanna think abt the new year ... i just know tat i will keep living. There is no more aims , no more dreams nor hope, cos everytime i make one, the person up there just would'nt let me have it no matter how much i try and fight for it.
So, just keep living until he strike me one day, for i do not believe in him again. He cannot understand my thoughts and for that, no one can as well.
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